The Four Trails that wind through this blog.

This blog will be organized as if one was out hiking in nature. Each trail will have its own focus, but all trails will interwind, cross and crisscross and interconnect.

Spirit Trail - will wander into the wilderness of spirituality

Cosmic Trail - will meander into the worldof subtle energy

The Chastity Trail - will trace the route of Chastity and how it influences the other trails

Tongass Trail - will stop at trail overviews for reflection on my personal journey

Because of the intertwining of the Four Trail and the way that information is added, it might be best to begin reading from the end and working forward. You can also use the index to the right to find various topics of interest. Please remember to make comments and ask your questions.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

A Big Shift in Energy

My inner energy level has been very high the past couple of weeks because of my enforced chase state and the love that was showered my way over the past week in conjunction with the celebration of my birthday.

I was given a copy of Wayne Dyer’s audio book entitled “Applying the 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace” for my birthday last week. I waited until I finished a novel that I was enjoying during my commute and other car time until I popped the first Dyer CD into my car’s player. I was about a third of the way to work when I did this.  The CD only played a minute or two until ZAP. I noticed a big energy shift. This shift came about not by what Wayne was saying but just by the energy/sound of his voice. I became sensitive to my heartbeat and an excited feeling in my body. I sensed a change of some sort but was and still am unable to clearly understand what happen.

I can only say that I had to turn off the CD in attempt to tune into what was happening to me at that time. I sensed and anticipated some sort of change. I reviewed and thought about several things that are going on in my life at this time including what it means to be Mr. Allan’s boy. No new decisions were made but there was what can be called a mini life review, which resulted from the few minutes of listening to the lecture about “burning desire.”

This shift threw me off all day. I found it difficult to keep focused at work and kept thinking about what happened and where it is leading. A day later I still have not been able to process what happened. I hope to have some quiet meditation time this weekend to reflect on the shift.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Do You Dream in Chastity?

Last night I enjoyed my most intense, erotic and sexual chastity dream yet.  Let me explain. When I first became serious about protected chastity it took several weeks before I dreamed of myself in a chastity device in a dream. That particular dream and several others were rather short snippets of me being protected.  For me these dreams symbolized that my desire for chastity crossed over from the conscious world into the dream world. I thought of them as a “big step” into a chase life-style as my unconscious and spiritual life was embracing chastity.

Last night I had a rather long erotic dream about participating in a play party. It should be noted that this was a lucid dream in that I knew I was dreaming. I could feel my cocklet straining against the metal tube of my Carrara Chastity Belt even while in the dream state.

In this dream I was in my protector and playing with a restrained man who was not protected. After a short while someone came over checked my protector to make sure it was secure and then put my playmate into a full chastity belt also. He was restrained and unable to do anything about it. But after it was installed, he seemed to accept it and our play continued. We were also made away that a video camera was recording our session.

I woke up feeling extremely erotic, full of energy, horny and with my boy cocklet stuffing my chastity protector.

Do you dream in Chastity? Willing to share any of your dreamscapes?

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Energy Cultivation Notes and Update

The main incentive for my journey into chastity has been the cultivation and utilization of energy. An essential component of this journey has also been the exploration of my sexual submissive yearnings under the direction/control of a master. As I have not blogged for a while, I thought that I would take some time today to synthesize what has been happening.

First my relationship with my Master has been progressing well.  In spite of lack of discretionary time on both our behalves, we are getting to know each other better including what each of us is searching for in our D/S relationship. I personally am looking forward to see what develops in the short and long term.

Enforced chastity is an experience that is very difficult to explain. First of all there is probably no such thing as “real enforced chastity” except in extremely rare circumstances. Some men go into chastity because someone they love or respect asks or puts them into chastity for various reasons. From my own experience and from what I can glean from many of the male-male chastity Internet sites most of us gay men wear “male protectors,” chastity belts and chastity devices because we want to. These desires to be chase are driven by many different factors and reasons that are as individual as the men who lock up their manhood and sometime refer to themselves as “boys”.

Enforced chastity is actually an extension of the man’s will power. His desire for chastity is enhanced and “protected” by the combined will and guidance of his master and the physical protector that is locked around his penis.  

Because the sexual function of his penis is restricted many boys and masters no longer honor the penis with the strong word image of “cock”, but refer in the diminutive as peepee, cocklet, or nub.

I have used chastity devices in the past because I wanted to. But now that I have contracted with Mr. Allan to wear a device all of the time, it has become enforced chastity. Believe me enforced chastity is much different from casual chastity. I am now getting the results that I was searching for before meeting Mr. Allan.

I was seeking energy cultivation and storage.  Now that I am not permitted, except in certain circumstances, to ejaculate and expend male sexual release energy; energy is building in my body. I am almost constantly aware of his building of energy as it expresses itself in making me feel horny. The horniness I experience is different from unprotected horniness that results in quick releases. This state is different. I feel the energy coursing through my body. My cocklet is tingling almost all the time seeking touch and release. The inability to release that concentrated energy adds new dimensions to the horniness state that is sublime, subtle, vibrational and exciting. (I think I will work on coining a new word for this state.)

This is what I have experience in the past several days. First my cocklet enjoys protection. When I am out of protection for cleaning and other reasons, it feels really good slipping the Carrara Belt or Steelwerks Revenge back on. My body-mind-spirit and cocklet crave all the various physical, psychological and spiritual feelings. It is kind like the feeling of coming home from a long journey or sleeping in your own bed again after nights of camping.

Second, every one in awhile for no apparent reason there is a blush of sweet chi (energy) that flows through the body and mind. There is a sense of visual and mental clarity, a feeling of peace mixed with excitement and vibrational energy being generated at a medium frequency. All of this happening at the same time is simply awesome.

Third, I was fortunate to have my Master, Allan, introduce and set-up a session with Mr. Buzz who is an expert in energy transference through percussion. This is what happened in my session. I arrived and he asked me to strip down and climb into bed with him to cuddle and talk. He found cuddling with the Carrara Chastity Belt on me was uncomfortable. So as arranged with Master the belt was removed. Now the cuddling became serious with deep kissing. My released cocklet began to leak almost immediately as it engorged.

I nursed at his nipples. Nipples are energetically connected to the heart. So sucking on nipples is a direct connection to heart energy. I worked my way down to his most beautiful cock and balls attempting to give me great pleasure as a sniffed, licked and sucked. Giving him pleasure also gave me pleasure as are energy fields comingled. The tongue is an organ that easily transmits and receives energy so I used it as much as possible to connect with the energy flowing out of his cock and balls.

Then I was instructed to lie on my back and he sat on my face giving to more access to his beautiful, delicate and energetic gonads. After he was pleasured he moved back so that my head rested between his legs. Then he began to ply his skill of percussion and energy sharing and transfer. Mr. Buzz used his hands and a short soft flogger on my pecs, nipples, chest, stomach and gonads. Energy was pumped into my body and I began to shake and vibrate up and down and back and forth.

Let me explain more about “shaking and vibrating and running energy.” For me when energy is flowing my body shakes and vibrates. Often time these movement originate from my solar plexus which is were males tend to store life force energy or what is often times called chi or prana. This energy causes my body to vibrate up and down and from side to side. Sometimes the shaking becomes very strong if I am relaxed and trusting. Kundalini Yoga differentiates these movements. The up and down is “male” energy and the sideway movements is “feminine” energy. The practice of Kundalini Yoga is to release this snake like energy that is coiled at the base of your spine and let it move up the spine into your mind.

Both of these energies were freely flowing through my body. My cocklet was engorged heavy with blood and flopping back and forth on my abdomen and feeling most wonderful.

Next Mr. Buzz had me turn over and my stomach to flog my backside. As the flogging increased the energy transfer was tremendous. The energy was moving rhythmically through the body and was being stored in the body’s chi storage centers. Mr. Buzz was to comment later that I was “glowing.” I was feeling really good. I also noticed that I keep pushing my but up into the air as it seemed to want more attention. My cocklet was rubbing the bed and being nicely stimulated.
During this whole session it was a great temptation to touch and fondle my cocklet. To do so would have drained some of the energy build-up so with a great deal of will power I kept my hands off except at the end to harvest and eat the pre-cum that had accumulated.

At the end of the flogging session the energy was easily flowing as Mr. Buzz laid his hands on various charkas. We ended our time with more cuddling and the opportunity for me to nurse on energy transmitting nipples and cock.

It is important to realize that energy flowed and was shared between the two of us consciously and unconsciously. It was not all about me as his body was visibly shaking and vibrating many times during the session.

I am most grateful for the generous donation of Mr. Buzz’s skill and time.

Mr. Allan and I had planned to spend some time together that evening and I was super excited to be able to be with him while I was in such high energy charged state. Unfortunately because of work issues we were not able to get together. Unfortunately the next evening we meet.

After a complicated and drain week of dealing of work and family medical issues, I was able to give my Master a two hour massage. During this time I consciously was moving and transferring energy back and forth between the two of us.  This is what Mr. Allan wrote in his blog about this experience:

I was sufficiently rattled by the huge amounts of unhappiness generated in the meeting with my CEO (on both sides of the table) that when I got home, I downed a GABA tablet and placed myself into our boy's hands for a wonderful Joe Kramer/Body Electric style massage for two hours. 

During the massage, I felt a surge of body energy and a weird glowing warmth seemed to pass through my brain...and I Had A Moment, realizing "Well, if my CEO won't train me in VMware, then fuck him, I'll train my own goddamn self. I'm getting a raise, I'll use it to purchase suitable equipment for a home VMware installation. I have access to NFR VMware licenses, so that won't cost anything..."

And my body gave this little shudder...and suddenly I was completely relaxed.

Perhaps I'd underestimated just how tense I'd become over not knowing VMware better and/or trying to pass the VCP5 test. (Ya think?) Also, over my self-imposed dependence upon work to educate myself.

After the massage we two had an opportunity to chat about my growing Master/boy relationship. It also made me feel extremely good to read his blog the next morning even though we had talked about the energy shift that night.

Two days later I had a night when I kept waking up experiencing a great deal of energy in my body. My cocklet was straining against the steel cage. I wanted to relax and let the energy freely shake and vibrate my body, but my husband was asleep beside me and I didn’t want to disturb his sleep. I could feel the Kundalini energy at the base of my spine wanting to be set free. Finally I got up in the early morning, set up the massage table, and let the energy go being free to shake and vibrate as it dictated.

I must also tell you that this type of energy movement is often times called a “full body orgasm.” It feels wonderful –very wonderful in fact. Not only does it feel delightful but it breaks up energy blockages and bring health to the body-mind-spirit complex.

I am grateful that I have chosen to go down the chastity path and to have a kind considerate Master who enforces my chastity and who is energy adept. It is my hope that the energy that we raise together generates out into the world/universe with “good vibrations.”  

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Almost Always Thinking of my Master

Making the transition to “boy mind space” for me has been an interesting journey that continues every day.  One of the “new” aspects of this boy space is how I am almost always thinking of my Master. He comes to mind so many times during the day for so many reasons.

First there is the base fact that he is my Master and therefore I just think about him as anyone thinks about their spouse and friends throughout the day.

Second there is the collar that is always around my neck complete with collar.

         Seeing it reflected in the mirror
         Feeling the weight of it around my neck
         Hearing the sound of it when I move around
         Seeing other people looking at it and wondering
         Holding it when I am sleeping on my side
         Pride in being collared

Third there are the chastity protectors  
         Building Energy in the body
         Feeling horny all the time
         Constriction of the belt around my waist
         Walking differently
         Sitting differently
         Trapped penis in tube wanting to get out

Fourth I use passwords that speak of my boyhood. So probably 50 times a day I am forced to type that fact that I am a boy and Mr. Allan is my Master.
With all of this going on, “Is there any way not to almost always thinking about Mr. Allan?”

I am so glad and happy that I have a Master and it is Mr. Allan and that I am almost always thinking about him. 

(Don’t you wish you were collared, physically chastised, and had such a wonderful Master?)

Friday, February 17, 2012

Catching Up on My Blog

I have done a terrible job of keeping current on my boy blog.  It has even reached the point where the notes that I have made on bits of paper are not that helpful in full recall of all that has happened since my last entry.

I was taken with Mr. Allan and Mr. Randy to the Alameda County Leather Corp and introduced as their new boy.  It was a fun experience for me to be with them and to meet some of the people who are important in their kink lives, including their other boy, Pony.  That Sunday Mr. Allan was feeling under the weather so I accompanied Mr. Randy to a fund raising event at the ACLC in Hayward.  Again it was a very pleasant experience to meet and chat with the leather folks who were gathered. These two events were all part of my “coming out” as a boy. There were a few people present who I knew but haven’t seen in a long time. It took them a while to process who I was when I introduced myself by my boy name. Fun! Mr. Allan told me the other night that I was a point of discussion at the following ACLC social and that enjoyed telling everyone about our meeting, collaring, and contract.

I had the privilege to give Mr. Allan a full body and erotic massage the other evening. It was wonderful to be able to touch me and exchange of energy was powerful. This boy is enjoying getting to know his Master’s body better and better through these worship and massage sessions. Lucky for me Mr. Allan put me in the sling again and used my butt hole to pump energy into me. He released my boy cock, put a cock ring on it, teased and played with it filling me with energy from both directions. I had been so horny and filled with energy the past couple of weeks this treatment felt extraordinary. A large (at least large for me) vibrating dildo was inserted into my boy hole. This was another very powerful experience. Mr. Allan is so kind to give his boy to such treats.  As Mr. Allan worked by cock and the vibrator worked my prostrate, boy eugene enjoyed a most wonderful orgasm! Let me repeat – it was a very powerful and master/boy binding experience.

On Valentines Day I was released from my chastity devices and permitted to enjoy a shared orgasm with my husband. This was the first shared orgasm that we have enjoyed in two months since my locking. Our love for each other erupted and spilled all over my chest as M sat on me and manipulated our two cocks as one.
On February 15th I passed a bit of blood from my penis. I may have been a kidney stone, but I think it blood from a small abrasion on my penis caused by the enforced chastity protectors. With permission I am taking a vacation from wearing the protectors. 

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Penis Suffers a Blister

After being locked since December 17, 2011 my penis developed a blister in my Carrara. I think it was because my penis was engorging often with my perpetual state of horniness and rubbing against the metal tube. With Master’s permission I have been in nothing more than jock and cup for several days. It was a great deal of temptation to keep my hands off which I was not 100% successful. Today that penis is healed enough to lock the Revenge back on. I must admit that it feels good to have my penis contained again and under the control of Master Allan. Will be trying some different lubrications when the Carrara Chastity Belt get put back on.